So I watched Alice in Wonderland last night which was really really good. Not epic but it wasn’t bad either. It’s one of the few remakes nowadays that didn’t turn into a porn flick. Although a few scenes I thought it was going to happen … and being a Disney film doesn’t leave it immune from it. I was just waiting for the scene where either Alice would get too small and she’d come out of her dress naked or she would get too big and a boob would pop out. Because I would be terribly mad if Disney had done that. I liked the story as a kid and its still one of my favorites now and I don’t care to have it perverted by trying to be like all the other sex-influenced movies. You’d know how much I like Alice in Wonderland because if you go back to my first blog post in 2004 you’d see. If you haven’t seen the original movie, the original cartoon and the real life remake, you should. AND read the damn book Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass and you will find that Wonderland isn’t all that nonsense of a place at all. Everything means something.
The 2010 movie takes place after the original Alice in Wonderland, she supposedly comes back to Wonderland, which is really called Underland according to the White Rabbit so the
movie is nothing like nor is it suppose to be like, the original; some characters are even left out, like the Walrus and the Carpenter and the Clams. And some characters were added in like Bayard the hound dog; he was thrown in by Hollywood. What kind of bothered me though is that it was like a jaunt back to Harry Potter because although there was only one character the Queen of Hearts (Helena Bonham who played Bellatrix LeStrange in Harry Potter) played her face (literally).
The voice ov
ers from one of the characters were oddly familiar to me, Absalom (the Blue Caterpillar). Absalom sounded like Severus Snape (played by Alan Rickman) from the Harry Potter to me. So I googled it and low and behold, Alan Rickman *was* the voiceover for Absalom. He’s the only one since Ben Stein who can get away with sounding as boring but intellectual as possible. Kinda of wonder what he sounds like on a happy day … the same. Absalom’s part though is very very flawed. Technically, he shouldn’t even be there. This was supposed to be Alice coming back to Wonderland … soooo why Absalom is even here as a caterpillar again is beyond me. In the original Alice, Absalom turned into a butterfly so why he’s here morphing into a butterfly again is beyond me. He should have been a butterfly in
this movie … but oh well its Hollywood.
Although Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum were actual characters, their faces and voices sounded familiar to me too … so I googled them too and yea I knew I knew their voices from somewhere … Matt Lucas the multi-personality comedian from the low budget comedy show Little Britain; you can check out one of his skits up there in my PlayMi reel. Its the clip with
the British accent people talking. It’s the only British show I can laugh at without being brought down by dry British humor. I hated Mr. Bean. Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum (I thought were gothically cute btw) . Their facial expressions throughout the movie were priceless.
I didn’t care for the Mad Hatter (played by Johnny Depp). The only thing “mad” about the Hatter was his makeup … horrid. So horrid I won’t even post a pic in my blog about it. If you want to see it, go google him. And they kept doing closeups of him … ugh. The missing element is the A Very Happy Unbirthday song! Maybe that could have possibly redeemed his role .. not.
My favorite scene? HAHA I watched the movie on On Demand at home so I had the pleasure of being able to rewind my favorite scene oh say about 10 times until I busted out in uncontrollable laughter leaving me in tears. But my favorite scene is near the end when just before The Potion scene, Alice brings the Vorpal Blade to the White Queen. The White Queen says to Alice she’s much too large to fight the Jabberwocky so the White Queen takes Alice to the kitchen to make the Drink Me potion to get her back down to size. As the White Queen and Alice open the door to the kitchen, the March Hare is in there, going mad again btw throwing dishes, and he hurls a teacup of some kind of goo at the door as they enter; the White Queen gracefully ducks the teacup as it smashes against the door and the green goo paints the door. LOLOLOL omg that scene is just priceless. You have to see it and understand the White Queen through the whole movie to understand. The White Queen intentionally overaggerates the fairytale stereotype of a gracious and proper queen which just makes her too dam funny in every scene.
I rewound just that 3 second part like 10 times; it left me in tears crying and I still laugh at it. So my favorite character in all the movie? It wasn’t Alice, or the Queen of Hearts, and it damn sure wasn’t the Mad Hatter (sorry Johnny, not this time) … it was … the White Queen.
Why? Because I knew in every scene she was in I was gonna laugh my ass off … and I did. She walks around the movie as if she is floating, toting her hands about, and is always got a ear to ear smile that would make you think she’s just as mad herself.