so about 2 days ago i ran out of gas while trying to drive to the gas station. its only 2 blocks away so i thought i would be lazy on putting gas back in the car =/ well as soon as i turned onto the street from my apartment, it made it across the street and died. but the story doesn’t end there … i swear i chose the wrong day to wear some daisy dukes. first some old white man comes down the street and asks did i need help pushing so he helped me put it around the corner; that got me pass the first block. then this old man was sitting on the porch and asked did i run out of gas; i told him yeah and he got his son to help me push it to the gas station. now this was all fine and dandy … until after we got to the gas station and i drove him back home. as thanks i bought the guy a beer and gave him some money.
why o why couldn’t he do something nice and then leave me alone? instead he asks “when am i going to see you again. can we go out. do you have a man … “? i’m like wtf. i ran out of gas, i really appreciate you helped me push it. what makes you think i even want to see you again? please note this man was fat, sloppy, had holes all in his clothes and smelled really really bad. i don’t mean to talk about him like that but had he not spent the next 20min trying to get me to give him my number, even after i told him i already had someone i’m involved with, i wouldn’t be. i mean, he looked (and smelled) awful, what in the world made him think he had a chance? and second off, he told me he was 33 years old, which is cool, BUT the uncool thing was (besides his appearance), he was still living with his dad? o yah, that’s a real score huh; has “loser” written all over his face. i could have sworn i saw “loser” across his forehead. he also says “i was about to ‘roll up a blunt’ before my dad told me to help you. even with my bad knee”. hold up stop … did he “really” think that telling me he was about to roll up marijuana to smoke it, was suppose to lure me into him? dude, a box full of fishing lures couldn’t have pulled me into him. hold on, but the story doesn’t end there …
after making this guy realize he didn’t stand a chance, he finally got out of my car and i drove to wendy’s to get something to eat. i reach for my cellie and i have a text message that says “U can do better”. the message was from “the guy i’m involved with”, theo. i called him up and asked, what the hell was that suppose to mean, and he says he saw some guy sitting in my car with me and he had been sitting in my car a long time because he drove around twice and he was still there. i’m like did you even look at that guy? it was like a reverse “jack sprat”. theo for some reason thinks i’m seeing someone else and i’m not so naturally, male jealousy, he thought he stumbled across whoever the guy he thought i was seeing. all i could do was L-O-L. it was just too funny to contain. if i were to see someone else, it sure as hell wouldn’t be that guy nor would i try to see someone who lives on the next block from him. so theo asks why i didn’t call him and i told him because it wasn’t far and i could push it myself. then he says and you were wearing that! and i said “yeah” and he replies, “oh yeah you were looking for attention”. i mean come on, i don’t think i’m an ugly girl. i’m 5′ 7″, long hair and in shape, what girl doesn’t wear a tank top, daisy dukes and sandals in 90 degree weather! the thought of Loser McSloppy staring at my butt cheeks while i was pushing the car down the street makes me nauseous. i wasn’t looking for attention, i was looking to cool off and i wasn’t planning on breaking down that day just to wave my ass in the air.