I grew up on watching pessimistic Charlie Brown and somehow I think that has warped my brain. It’s been 10 years since I graduated from high school and I got that frightful email stating its time for Class Reunion; our first.
I’m nervous about going because I have looked up some of what my old classmates have been doing, one became a model and now works for one of the top fashion industries, one is some type of marketing consultant for Chicago Bulls, and I am sure there are other successfuls, but then it comes to me and I’m just all over the place.
See, when I first graduated from high school, I moved to New York City and became a model. I sent my info packet to the major agencies such as Elite, Wilhelmina, etc, and they all said I had the “look” but I just wasn’t tall enough for runway. Even my height is all over the place. I’m taller than 5’6″ but not quite 5’7″ either. I’m the tallest person in my family though. So I modeled on a small scale. I went to modeling school and etiquette school and whatever.
The story was this: I went to a shoot in upper Manhattan. The designer came in, he asked me to walk so I did my little catwalk on the T stage and he said I was great BUT (and these are his exact words) “You’re all chest and no butt … I want to put you in lingerie”. I told the designer flat out no and that was the end of my modeling career. My heart was not into it and after a while, I really stopped caring for it. I guess it’s just called getting sick and tired of it.
After I got back from NYC, I came back to Newport News and tried to live a normal life with a regular job but my mom knows it just isn’t me. I met someone from California and moved there. Got married and that was a flop so now I am separated. I guess I just don’t have patience for men.
So that’s my life in a nutshell. I’m still trying to get my life together pretty much. My mom says I’m still young and it takes time to really find yourself in life and all that blazey, blah stuff. She said she never got settled until she was around 35. I guess she’s right. My best buddy Mike is still being Mike. He’s still a bachelor but at least he’s on the path. My best firend Keysha has a family and is settled and she’s only 28 or 29 or something like that. For me, I took a loop and I’m back at the Fork in the Road. I know what I want to do … but I just feel that it’s not here in Virginia. I have always felt a life was waiting for me in New York City or somewhere else. I’m happy when I’m there. I have lots of friends but finding myself moving there like before is going to be very expensive.
Everytime I think I have found the right job, I either get laid off or it goes out of business. Every employer I have ever worked for just went out of business. I guess I’m an omen or something … or either Virginia just is not that stable. I even had a a potential employer at an interview say every one of the businesses I worked for on my resume are now out of business so she could not even do a reference on me. I worked at three pet shops; two I worked in Hampton, and they both went out of business. The third I worked at was in the World Trade Center in NYC … well, the entire planet knows what happened to the WTC. I worked at two veterinary hospitals here which I quit to go to Gateway for higher pay … well, Gateway went out of business here; I quit three months prior to being laid off anyway. I saw the layoff about to happen so I quit and went to work for a customer care center. After that I moved to California where I could not even FIND a job. It was interview after interview and still a no-go. It’s just so competitive there. I finally found a job as a dentist assistant … but it was only a temp job.
Now I am here in VA (again). I run my own business repairing and maintaining computer systems and networks. My aunt says I should be proud of myself but for some reason, I’m proud but I don’t feel anything magical about it. I feel like I should be doing more. I think its because although I am good at computers, I’m not doing what I set out to do; becoming a veterinarian. Somehow in that question for animaldom, I got sidetracked and veered off into another path I had no intention of going.
So now I am going to school to major in biology to become a vet or whatever. I have always had a scientific mind; I over think things that are simple. I think more complex than simple so I overlook a lot of things the average Joe would see. I guess to look on the bright side, I have fixed computers for doctors before and I have never run into one which they have even the slightest clue on how to run a computer (weird). Maybe I was suppose to go down this path to find some innovation in science combining computers with organic material. Sweeeeet. Maybe I will find it in the next 10 years so I will have bragging rights at the next class reunion but for now, this one I don’t have much to show for it.
The irony about the class reunion is … it’s on my 28th birthday. And before I know it, here comes 30. Damn, I remember when I thought that was “old”.