This article I randomly found on the Internet is so on point. As I read it, I was mentally going thru the list of guys I’ve dated in my head and classifying them all. I’ve had my dose of all of them except The Unicorn and Mr. Saturday Night. Read the article first and then come back to my thread and you’ll be able to understand what I’m talking about.
My last boyfriend was The Eeyore, constantly going on and on about his ex-girlfriend he had kids by and she kicked him to the curb. I got tired of hearing his bellyaching and canned him.
Before him was The Married Guy. Stupid me kept believing his famous storyline of “we’re getting a divorce” or “we’re separated”. Yeah right, it never happened. But then again I was 25 and stupid then. I’ll say no more about that one because he’s probably reading this right now.
Then before that I was married to The Braying Ass for two years; and yes he had an overabundance of body hair! Such an arrogant a**hole embarrassing me whenever we went into public because he always had a complaint about something and always made a public display of it like the world owed him something. I should have had that marriage annulled.
And then before that, there was The Peter Pan. I ran off with him to New York, clubbing and partying night after night when I was about 17 or 18 and boy we were like Bonnie and Clyde … until we turned about 20ish. I grew up, he stayed a 12 year old and I became uninterested in him; he found a new girlfriend but I didn’t care. Less luggage off my rack. He didn’t want to work. Didn’t want to do anything. When I got a job and stopped taking care of him, he found another girl and ran off with her to North Carolina and left me in New York.
I am sitting here right now thinking to myself wow in the last 15 years I’ve only dated FIVE guys? (not counting the married guy because married guys can’t be counted) I mean seriously, how many guys do I have to run through before I meet Mr. Right? If Ever? Seriously, it’s like the loot drops in D3. There were two other guys I didn’t mention because they were just friends really and didn’t turn into anything nor fit any of those categories, but yeah since I’ve turned into an adult at 18, I’ve only dated 5 guys.
There is one other guy that I’m interested in now but we are still along the lines of friends and it’s kind of a complicated situation at the moment but hopefully if anything does come out of it, he’ll be The Unicorn.